At some point, we have said to ourselves or have heard someone say:
“Try to stay positive.” “It could be worse.” “Just focus on the positive.”
These statements are well meaning and are often said by people who want you to feel better. But, for many having feelings of anxiety, depression, burnout, grief, or if they are going through a difficult life transition, these statements can increase your distress, not reduce it.
Let’s talk about It…
Positivity isn’t the problem – Pressure is
Positive thinking, when it’s self-directed and genuine can be helpful. The problem arises when positivity is being used to ignore or avoid real emotional experiences.
This is sometimes called “toxic positivity.” The idea that we should maintain a positive mindset all the time, no matter what we’re feeling.
When your positivity becomes an obligation, not a choice it can:
– Create shame around negative emotions
– Send the message that emotions like sadness, anger, or fear are failures
– Teach people to distrust their internal experiences
Your nervous system does not respond to “Pep Talks”
When someone is feeling anxious, burnt out, or emotionally overloaded, their nervous system is in a heightened state.
In those moments:
– Logical thinking doesn’t happen
– Positive affirmations feel invalidating
– Reassurance feels unwanted
Telling someone to “stay positive” when their nervous system is heightened is like telling someone with a sprained ankle to “walk it off.” The body and brain need safety and regulation, not pressure.
Suppressing emotions ca increase Anxiety and Depression
Suppressing your emotions doesn’t make them go away – it often makes them increase.
When people feel like they shouldn’t be sad, mad, overwhelmed, or scared, they will often:
– Push those emotions way down deep
– Judge themselves for feeling the way they do
– Avoid processing what is really happening
Overtime this can lead to:
– Increased anxiety
– Emotional numbness
– Increased stress
– Burnout
– Increased depression
Mental Health Support is about integration, not avoidance
Mental health support is about learning how to:
– Feel your emotions without being consumed by them
– Understand what your emotions are communicating
– Respond with compassion – not judgement
– Build regulation before resilience
You’re allowed to feel what you feel.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or emotionally exhausted, therapy can help.
Book a free consultation to explore therapy support that meets you where you’re at.
We offer virtual therapy in Ontario and Prince Edward Island.
www.leblanctherapywellness.com
English 
French